50 Warning Signs of Questionable Therapy
- Feb 14
- 5 min read
Choosing a therapist is an act of trust. Therapy beckons you to be vulnerable, honest, and open in ways you may not be anywhere else in your life. Because of that, it’s important to know what healthy therapy looks like, and just as important to recognize when something feels off.
The warning signs below are meant to help you make sense of your experience in therapy. If one or more of these show up, it doesn’t automatically mean your therapist is unethical or incompetent. But it does mean it’s worth paying attention.
This article is an updated and expanded version of one of the earliest and most widely read pieces I wrote in 2008 for GoodTherapy.org. While the language and framing have evolved over time, the core intention remains the same, to help people recognize what ethical, healthy therapy looks like and to trust themselves when something doesn’t feel right.
In most cases, the first step is to talk directly with your therapist about what you’re noticing. A good therapist should be open to feedback and willing to explore any concerns with you. However, if your therapist dismisses your experience, becomes defensive, or refuses to engage in the conversation, then it’s important for you to seek consultation elsewhere.
Most therapists mean well. Like everyone else, they have blind spots and make mistakes. Sometimes what feels like a problem with a therapist is actually something emerging within the therapy itself, and those moments can be deeply valuable when talked about openly. That said, there are also situations where a therapist’s behavior crosses ethical lines or consistently undermines your well being. In those cases, leaving therapy or seeking consultation elsewhere may be the healthiest choice.
It’s also important to understand that these warning signs vary in seriousness. Some represent clear ethical violations, such as sexual or romantic involvement with a client. There are no gray areas here. If this happens, you are encouraged to report it to your state licensing board and consult with other licensed mental health professionals.
Other concerns are more context dependent. For example, dual relationships are generally discouraged, but in small communities they may be unavoidable. Ethical practice requires careful consideration, transparency, and ongoing consultation in these situations.
With that in mind, here are some potential red flags to be aware of.
Potential Warning Signs in Therapy
It may be a red flag if your therapist:
The therapist does not have the training or experience needed to address your concerns and works outside their scope of practice.
The therapist cannot clearly explain how therapy might help you with whatever concern has brought you to therapy.
The therapist can’t clearly express how progress is measured or how to know when therapy is complete.
The therapist avoids consultation or supervision when it would be appropriate.
The therapist makes unconditional guarantees or promises about outcomes.
The therapist has unresolved or serious complaints with a licensing board, or their license has formerly been suspended or revoked.
The therapist admits they have never done their own personal therapy.
The therapist fails to clearly explain confidentiality, fees, office policies, or your rights as a client so you can fairly consent to treatment.
The therapist uses therapeutic techniques without explaining their purpose or receiving your consent.
The therapist uses therapy sessions to meet their own emotional or psychological needs at the expense of your therapy.
The therapist attempts to become your friend rather than maintaining a professional role.
The therapist initiates physical touch without your consent.
The therapist engages in or suggests a sexual or romantic relationship with you.
The therapist asks for your help with matters unrelated to your therapy.
The therapist shares identifying information about you without permission or legal requirement.
The therapist reveals identifying details about other clients.
The therapist acts as though they have all the answers, rather than guiding you toward finding your own.
The therapist gives frequent unsolicited advice, directs your actions, and or makes decisions for you.
The therapist encourages your dependency rather than helping you develop your own internal resources.
The therapist pressures you to stay in therapy against your wishes.
The therapist insists their approach is the only valid one and dismisses other models.
The therapist is judgmental, shaming, or critical of your lifestyle or choices.
The therapist treats you as inferior, subtly or overtly.
The therapist regularly focuses blame on your family, partner, or friends for your problems.
The therapist often encourages you to focus blame on others.
The therapist dismisses your instincts, concerns, or discomfort rather than exploring them with curiosity and care.
The therapist shows little interest in your goals for therapy.
The therapist cannot tolerate feedback or acknowledge mistakes.
The therapist shows little empathy.
The therapist shows empathy in a way that feels overwhelming or intrusive.
The therapist appears emotionally overwhelmed or reactive to what you’re sharing.
The therapist talks excessively about their own life without therapeutic purpose.
The therapist talks so much that it interferes with therapy.
The therapist talks so little that you feel unsupported or lost.
The therapist uses excessive jargon that leaves you confused.
The therapist appears distracted, disengaged, or inattentive during sessions.
The therapist repeatedly forgets important details about you or your past sessions.
The therapist answers phone calls or texts during your session.
The therapist focuses on what is “wrong” rather than understanding how your behaviors, thoughts, and feelings developed as adaptations.
The therapist focuses only on thoughts while ignoring emotions and bodily experience.
The therapist focuses only on emotions while ignoring insight, reflection, or cognitive understanding.
The therapist pushes you into emotionally painful or vulnerable experiences against your wishes.
The therapist avoids emotional or vulnerable experiences altogether.
The therapist focuses on trying to control your behavior without addressing the underlying causes.
The therapist focuses prematurely on identifying the underlying causes of a problem when practical coping skills would be more helpful.
The therapist is insensitive to your cultural background, race, ethnicity, religion, spirituality, gender identity, sexual orientation, socioeconomic background, or lived experience.
The therapist pushes spiritual or religious beliefs onto you.
The therapist is frequently confrontational or argumentative.
The therapist frequently cancels sessions, misses appointments, or arrives late.
The therapist creates a dynamic where you feel smaller, less capable, or less yourself over time.
A Final Word
No therapist is perfect, and no therapy process is without challenges. What matters most is whether your therapist is grounded, accountable, and genuinely invested in your well being.
Therapy should feel like a collaborative relationship, one where you feel respected, heard, and supported in becoming more yourself, not less. If something doesn’t feel right, trust that feeling and talk about it. A healthy therapist will welcome the conversation.
And if they don’t, you’re allowed to seek care elsewhere.