30
Years in mental health
27
Years of clinical practice
1M+
One million+ readers reached monthly via GoodTherapy.org, as Founder and former CEO
25 years of
providing
IFS therapy
Noah trained in IFS directly with its developer, Richard Schwartz, PhD, beginning in 2002. He went on to assist in IFS trainings, host workshops, and supervise other IFS therapists. In 2007 he founded GoodTherapy.org, one of the world’s leading mental health resources, which he led until 2018.
Some of the things
I help people with...
People come to therapy for many reasons. Some know exactly what hurts, others know that something just doesn't feels right. When something's off it can show up in how you relate to yourself, how you relate to others, how you cope with stress or pain, or in the distance between how you feel and how you'd like to feel. Below are some of the common places where therapy begins.
Patterns that haven’t shifted with effort
You’ve tried books, journaling, perhaps prior therapy. Some things have changed. But there are corners of yourself that haven’t moved, and you’re starting to suspect they need a different kind of attention.
Successful on the outside, stuck on the inside
You meet your obligations. People around you would say you’re doing well. Inside, something feels unfinished, stuck, unfulfilled, or off, and it’s been that way for a while
A relationship that’s grown distant or conflicted
You and your partner once felt connected. Now it feels more like coordinating life together. You still love each other, or you think you do, but the warmth has thinned, and you don’t know how to bring it back.
Self critical, driven, and never quite at ease
You may be competent, responsible, and accomplished, but inside there is a harsh voice that keeps pushing, correcting, or telling you you're not enough. You may look like you're functioning well, yet still live with self doubt, perfectionism, pressure, or a chronic inability to relax.
Anxious, overwhelmed, or unable to settle
You may spend a great deal of time worrying, overthinking, bracing, or trying to stay ahead of what could go wrong. Even when nothing is obviously wrong, your mind and body may have a hard time settling, and peace can feel difficult to access.
Always taking care of others, rarely yourself
You may be used to accommodating, rescuing, caretaking, or putting other people's needs first. You may look generous and reliable on the outside, while inside you feel depleted, resentful, unseen, or unsure how to care for yourself without guilt.
Carrying unmetabolized grief, loss, or sorrow.
You may be living with grief, heartbreak, disappointment, or a deeper kind of suffering that has never been fully processed. Something important may have been lost, or never fully received, and part of you still carries the weight of that.
Hiding who you really are
You may spend a great deal of energy adapting, performing, or wearing a version of yourself that feels more acceptable to others. On the outside, you may seem functional or even confident, while inside you feel hidden, guarded, or disconnected from who you really are.
Seeking approval, validation, or status
Part of you may rely heavily on recognition, achievement, or other people's approval to feel okay. Even when you succeed, the relief may not last long, and you may find yourself still chasing reassurance, worth, or a stronger sense of identity.
Struggling to let go or trying to control too much
You may feel chronically tense, over responsible, or burdened by the need to manage outcomes, people, or uncertainty. Part of you may believe that if you don't stay vigilant, prepared, or in control, things will fall apart.
Caught in resentment, defensiveness, or recurring conflict
You may find yourself easily irritated, defensive, critical, or stuck in repeating cycles of blame and hurt, especially in close relationships. You may not want to react this way, but something in you takes over and the same painful dynamics keep repeating.
Stuck in avoidance or procrastination
You may find yourself putting off what matters, not because you are lazy, but because something in you feels overwhelmed, doubtful, resistant, or afraid. Part of you wants to move forward, while another part keeps delaying, shutting down, or going elsewhere.
Emotionally distant, shut down, or hard to reach
You may notice that you withdraw, detach, numb out, or go distant when life becomes stressful or emotionally charged. Part of you may want closeness and connection, while another part pulls back, shuts down, or protects itself by going offline.
Numbing, distracting, or compulsively avoiding what hurts
You may turn to busyness, distraction, compulsive habits, or other ways of avoiding painful feelings. Even if these strategies help in the short term, part of you may know they are keeping you from facing something deeper that needs attention.
Depressed, discouraged, or losing hope
You may feel flat, heavy, depleted, or disconnected from meaning and motivation. Life may not feel dramatic or chaotic, but it may feel dulled out, joyless, or hard to care about in the way it once did.
MY APPROACH
I help people understand and transform the patterns that stand in the way of feeling good.
Being human is difficult. There’s so much suffering in the world, and we’re all deeply affected by it. Many of our struggles are a result of outdated coping skills that once helped us avoid pain. They worked. They helped us to survive, get by, and succeed. At some point, the cost how we cope began to outweigh the benefit, and that’s usually when someone reaches out to start therapy.
"Emotional suffering is a result of lived experience. And although we can't change the past, we can release the extreme beliefs, feelings and energies absorbed by our nervous system" — Noah Rubinstein
The therapy approach I rely on most is Internal Family Systems, or IFS. I trained directly with Richard Schwartz, PhD, who developed IFS, and I’ve been working from that framework for roughly 25 years. IFS is collaborative, non pathologizing, and deeply respectful. It recognizes that people already have, within themselves, the capacity for inner peace, confidence, trust, hope, optimism, playfulness, and joy. My job is to help people access more of these qualities by understanding, caring for, and helping transform the parts of themselves that have come to stand in the way.
WHAT I OFFER
Two ways we might work together.
Each begins with a free 15 minute consultation so we can briefly connect and see whether the fit feels right.
Individual IFS Psychotherapy
For adults who want to better understand themselves, work through painful or long standing patterns, and create deeper, more lasting change. My work is strongly informed by Internal Family Systems therapy, which helps us approach the parts of ourselves that struggle, react, protect, defend, or carry hurt and fear with curiosity and compassion, so that old patterns can begin to loosen and new ways of being can emerge.
Couples and Marriage Counseling
For couples who feel distant, conflicted, or caught in patterns they don’t know how to change. Couples therapy can help each person communicate more openly and understand one another more deeply, so that both partners feel heard, cared for, and less alone in the relationship. Along the way, couples begin to recognize the patterns they create together and learn new ways of responding that can bring more understanding, connection, and compassion into difficult moments.
WHAT I OFFER
How Therapy Begins
We begin with a brief conversation, and if it feels like a good fit, we schedule a first session.
i
A 15 minute phone call
We speak briefly. You share what’s bringing you to therapy, and I share how I can help. There is never any pressure or commitment to continue, just a conversation to see whether this seems like a good fit.
ii
Your first session
If we decide to work together, we schedule your first session, either in person at my Olympia office or online from anywhere in Washington through my secure telehealth system. I offer two session lengths, 60 and 90 minutes. We begin to map out what you’d like to work on, and then we dive in.
iii
The ongoing work
Most clients meet weekly. Some work with me for several months, and some longer. Each person sets their own pace. We check in regularly about whether the work is doing what you hoped. Feedback and concerns are always welcome.