Seeking Attention, Approval, Status, and External Validation

By Noah Rubinstein, LMHC (he/him)

March 1, 2026 For those of us who did not receive enough attention, validation, approval or love in childhood, or whose attention was mostly negative or critical, seeking approval often becomes the primary way we try to feel better about ourselves. Every compliment or bit of praise, every achievement, acknowledgment, promotion, smile from another, social media like, or follower becomes a kind of emotional lifeblood, the nourishment we rely on to feel okay about ourselves. And when that attention dries up, even briefly, self-doubt and old feelings of unworthiness often creep back in. Therapy helps us understand where this pattern began and, more importantly, guides us toward filling the deeper void beneath it with  our own self-appreciation and love. There is profound relief that comes from knowing and feeling that we are enough, worthy, and whole, regardless of titles, status, accomplishments, or recognition from others. Back to What I Help People With